1. Wisest Kid Commercials. Really? Now adults are so pathetic that we can’t even pick out something for lunch or dinner? Someone, somewhere needs to put a stop to this cultural craze that has us believing that younger is wiser. Sometimes kids stumble upon charm…but wiser? Honestly, we need some adults with the intestinal fortitude to step up and say, “Knock it off. If I want wisdom, I’ll ask someone who has a few more laps around the track than I do; not someone with a fake beard who can’t even tie their shoes.” Wise-guy kid maybe (yes, I initially thought to use another word there, but this blog is rated “G”).
2. Donut Ditherers. You know, patrons at the local donut shop who, after waiting in line for at least ten minutes, start to think about what they want WHEN THEY GET TO THE REGISTER. “I’d like a dozen donuts please. One…ummm…one chocolate frosted, one glazed…no, wait, ummm…” Fifteen minutes later (note: more than a minute per donut), the Ditherers finally leave–oblivious to the charm fest they’ve left in their wake.
3. Movie Seat Clusterers (yes, I made up a word). You’ve experienced this. You get to the movie a few minutes early (so that you can get some popcorn and be seated in time for the trailers). The theater is practically empty. But, no matter where you sit, the boneheads who come in after you, decide to SIT RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Dozens, nay hundreds of empty seats, and they decide to SIT RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Honestly, I know I am neither charming nor popular nor, well, any of those things that would attract a crowd. Why oh why oh why? And, if you decide to sit right behind me, do not compound your lack of grace by ENGAGING IN CONVERSATION WITH THE CHARACTERS ON THE SCREEN. The people in the audience with you can hear you, and are annoyed by you, BUT THE CHARACTERS ON THE SCREEN IN THE FILM CANNOT HEAR YOU!
4. Stoplight Micro-Millisecond Timers. It happened again today. I was first in line at the stoplight; it turned green; before my brain (which I admit is sometimes on the “slow cycle”) could process the change in color, the Uber Intenser (yes, another made up word) behind me HONKED HIS HORN. Trust me, nowhere in the arctic wind chill of this winter wonderland is a destination worth the stress that comes with constant horn honking and pedals to the metal. I could understand if I’d taken to reading War and Peace at each stoplight. But honestly, a micro-millisecond?
5. That I hate these stupid, minor things and that I let them get to me so often. Where in the world is my perspective? The Apostle Paul said that the travails of this world are “light and momentary” (2 Cor. 4:17). Since he was talking about things more egregious than traffic honkers or movie squatters, I have to wonder why it is that I let the “light and momentary” become so weighty and permanent in my mind.
6. That I do not hate the things that God hates. “Hate evil, love good,” Amos says (5:15). Why is it that I don’t hate the injustice that plagues our world? Why is it that so many people without Christ doesn’t bother me enough to be more purposeful in my relationships?
Perhaps you have a similar list; perhaps you don’t. If you do, maybe we should give the trivial over to God and let Him fuel our spirits with His own concerns. Maybe.
© All Rights Reserved. Scripture Quotations from the NIV.